Ex Machina

I saw Ex Machina last night and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I’m not usually into sci-fi, but positive word of mouth and funny cast interviews convinced me to see it. I mean…

How could I not?!

I dragged Greg along but he ended up really enjoying it, which is very high praise considering his pickiness and contempt for robots and most generic Hollywood movies. This was anything but generic – it was disturbing, thought-provoking, and very well-written and acted.

If you go, avoid spoilers at all costs, because the movie keeps you guessing, and half the fun is the suspense in trying to figure out what the fuck is happening. It brings up a lot of interesting questions: is an AI a machine or a human-like being? Does it feel feelings, or does it just cleverly and convincingly simulate them? What happens when man plays God? (See: Jurassic Park) Why don’t I have my own personal island complete with glaciers and waterfalls?

Robots are scary as fuck, y’all. Go see this movie.

Books 8-10

The Giver Quartet by Lois Lowry (YA Fiction)

One of my favourite authors growing up was Lois Lowry, thanks to Number the Stars and The Giver, two books our elementary school librarian read to us during our library class (shout-out to Mrs. Kozoris, who always picked the most kickass books!). I didn’t realize The Giver had sequels until they started talking about making the (apparently crappy) movie that came out last year, so I’m finally getting around to reading them now. For those who don’t know, The Giver is a dystopian young adult novel. I love me a good dystopia.

Gathering Blue was lame… pun not intended (the main character, Kira, has a bum leg and struggles to walk). I re-read The Giver first because it had been years and my memory of it was hazy, and it has held up well. Gathering Blue seemed like a lousy fanfic in comparison. It was boring, had no sense of urgency, and Kira was a big-time Mary Sue, although I did enjoy Matt, her young friend from the “slum” of her already slum-like village. I also appreciated the glimpses into the past and hints about how things ended up the way they are in these books. But it really just felt like a set-up for the next two novels. Fortunately, it was a quick read.

Good thing I liked the Matt character, considering he’s the protagonist in the third book, Messenger! This one was much better – an interesting story, some action, cool powers, mystery and intrigue, and a sad-ass ending. I couldn’t put it down and burned through it in a few hours. It wasn’t as deep or “important”-feeling as The Giver with its themes and allegory, but it was entertaining and got me hyped for the last book. Win.

Son was aight, but not particularly thrilling, despite the cover’s claim. It brought back characters and settings from the first few books, which was cool. The book is divided into three parts, and while the first two were interesting, the third part was anticlimactic. The final showdown was a little hokey, and the ending rushed. It felt like Lowry was on a deadline and had to finish the book right away, so she just slapped on an ending and then typed THE END. I would have liked to know more about the aftermath and the effects on Claire, who is the protagonist in the first two parts of the book, but instead we got a shot of her staring into the distance, liiiike… that’s it? The ambiguous “reader fills in the blanks” ending worked in The Giver, but for some reason fell flat here.

You can tell The Giver was never meant to be a quartet. It’s an excellent book on its own that is diminished somewhat by its sequels. Overall though, I was entertained, and I’m glad I finally got around to reading the series.

Colon Blaster 3000

After setting those little goals last week to get myself back on track, things have been going better. I’ve done 4 successful days of macro tracking (I half-assed it on the weekend so those days don’t count), and I’ve managed to meet my water drinking goal every day since then. It’s made a huge difference in how I feel, and my skin stopped freaking out too. Exercise is also back on track thanks to my 30×30 schedule, though I’ve found that my post-gym DOMS has been lingering way longer than usual. Not sure what’s up with that. Probably old age. Thanks, Obama!

Yesterday I had a lot of carb room left over and a free Starbucks reward on my card, so I got myself a triple grande nonfat caramel macchiato to perk me up in the afternoon. Turns out 3 shots of espresso is a pretty terrible idea. Caffeine stimulates not only my nervous system, but my digestive system as well. If ever you find yourself feeling a little… backed up, let me recommend you the triple grande caramel macchiato, AKA the Colon Blaster 3000 (just ask the barista, it’s on the secret menu!). You will lose at least half a pound instantly and violently. It’s quite something!

Anyway. Aside from the TMI, things are improving.

Book 7

Cinder by Marissa Meyer (YA Fiction)

I read this on Holly’s recommendation, who told me the author was a Sailor Moon fanfic writer back in the day. (For those who don’t know, I’ve been in love with Sailor Moon since I was 12.) Marissa Meyer is NOT to be confused with Stephanie Meyer, the author of Twilight – believe me, I double-checked. 😉

Cinder is a futuristic version of Cinderella, set in post-World War 4 China and featuring a cyborg for a protagonist. At first I was skeptical, not being a huge sci-fi fan, but within a few pages I found myself hooked. The story was imaginative and entertaining. There were a few confusing parts and some clunky exposition, and sometimes the character reactions seemed a little overwrought or over the top, but for a story that started out as a NaNoWriMo novel, the issues are understandable. The main thing is that it was a fun, addictive book, and overall I really enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to starting the next in the series!

I’ve been reading a lot of young adult fiction lately (reviews coming later this week), which kinda feels like cheating since the books are such quick, easy reads. But it’s nice to be back in the land of fiction!

Out of control

I am really struggling right now.

I’ve been sick the past four days, so I haven’t been working out, which is understandable. But I feel like everything else is spiralling out of control: eating, spending, procrastinating, being lazy… I can’t seem to get my shit together.

My diet is the main problem. I don’t know what happened, but ever since Whole30 it’s like I’m afraid to tell myself NO. And nothing ever feels like it’s enough! One delicious cookie isn’t enough to satisfy anymore – the second I’m done eating it, I want ice cream, or chocolate, or another different cookie. I’m all for moderation and I was super successful doing IIFYM in the past, where I was able to plan a daily treat into my diet. But I keep sliding back into multiple-treat days, not logging my food, not planning my meals, and buying copious amounts of takeout when I have perfectly good food at home. I’m ashamed at how much produce has gone to waste in the last month or two because I kept putting off making the meals I promised myself I would.

I keep planning to start over and do better every day, and then the day comes and the cravings kick in and I give into them. I stand in the store and think, “No, I don’t need to buy that half-price Easter chocolate; I’m not buying it today” and then 30 seconds later I’m paying for it at the till. I haven’t done proper prep or meal planning in ages. I don’t know what’s wrong except that I just feel so TIRED and UNMOTIVATED. It’s like I used up all of my effort and energy in January doing Whole30 and I haven’t been able to get back to that level since.

My pants are getting tighter. I’m not drinking enough water. My skin sucks. I feel crappy! How do I fix it?! I’m so overwhelmed by my failures!!!

Okay, enough with the dramatics. Time to refocus. Let’s set some goals.

1. Resume 30×30 to get back into the exercise habit
2. Refill and drink my water bottle at least 3x each day (750ml x 3 = 2.25L)
3. Start daily tracking again with MFP, even if it’s bad
4. Make a meal plan for next week and stick to it
5. Practice willpower – just say no

I’m not some mindless, single-celled organism that impulsively responds to external stimuli. I run the brain. I make the choices. Time to make better ones, dammit!

30×30

I’ve started a new fitness challenge: 30 consecutive days of 30 minutes of physical activity (minimum). Since my trip to Texas, my fitness routine has hit the skids and I desperately need something to get me back on track. Monday I went for a 10k hike and yesterday was a lame 30-minute power walk at 10 PM because I procrastinated all evening and was too full from my late dinner to go for a run. The rest of the month will be better though, now that I have a plan!

Maybe a touch ambitious, but I tried to allow for some easier workouts since I can’t take any actual rest days.

Today will be my first day back in the gym after a few weeks off. I’ve decided to try Wendler’s 5/3/1 (LOL at that website making it sound more hardcore than it is) because I got burnt out and bored doing Starting Strength and Stronglifts over the last year and a half, both of which focus on low reps/high weights for a few “big lifts”. 5/3/1 is similar, but you get to do accessory lifts (and there are a variety of accessory “programs” to choose from), and it focuses more on volume. Also, it’s a short workout, never more than an hour. But the best part is that I don’t have to do any thinking, planning, or tinkering of my own because of this AMAZING calculator. I simply punched in my numbers and it spit out my entire program for the next 4-6 weeks. Beautiful.

My other plan is to run the MEC half in Richmond on June 7. I run much more consistently with a goal in mind, and this race is only $20, compared to over $100 for BMO or $80 for Scotia. Race registration is a goddamn racket!

Anyway, I’m excited to have a plan, but I’m also dreading going back to the gym. It’s been a nice break doing next to nothing for the last few weeks, but I have to stop the slide now before it becomes a rut. I know I’ll feel better after I go, and everything will get easier as the routine is re-established. A body in motion tends to stay in motion, right?!

Super-Snack

Today I’m not going to talk about how I’ve fallen off the gym bandwagon and can’t seem to claw my way back on. Nor will I be discussing my current pattern of doing 3 or 4 days of solid IIFYM followed by a few days of “fuck it, pass the donuts and beer”.

Before this glorious long weekend, let’s talk about my new favourite thing: Super-Greek Yogurt. It’s legen… wait for it… dairy. Pun intended!

For me, the hardest macro goal to meet each day is protein, so my favourite trick is to pump up an already high-protein food (Greek yogurt) with even more protein-y goodness (powder).

I buy the unflavoured, fat-free Kirkland brand yogurt from Costco (18 g protein per 3/4 cup serving) and add half a scoop of flavoured, stevia-sweetened protein powder (~12 g protein). My favourite brand is Kaizen Natural Whey because it tastes good, blends decently, comes from New Zealand, and the container is biodegradable. I alternate between the vanilla bean and dark chocolate flavours, the latter of which I’m LOVING right now after months of avoiding it for some insane reason. I’m pretty sensitive to stevia and generally don’t enjoy the taste, but the half scoop gives the yogurt a mildly sweet flavour that isn’t overpowering.

After mixing the two, the yogurt has a fluffier texture that’s really nice. Then I add fruit! I normally go for berries, but this morning I had half a Granny Smith apple along with some blackberries. Finally I add some toppings to give it a bit of fat and balance the macros out a bit. I like using a tablespoon of chopped walnuts or cacao nibs (I finally found a use for them!) for a nice crunch. Trail mix works too! Granola would also be delicious (albeit carb-ier). Sometimes when I’m feeling fancy, I add a dash of cinnamon. And that’s it!

Super-Greek Yogurt makes an awesome breakfast or a bigger snack before a workout. And as I mentioned before, the chocolate flavour really kicks it up a notch because you feel like you’re eating mousse or pudding.

Now if only I could find a health food that reminds me of donuts…